mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the most handsome of them all?

While we at hmg appreciate all types of handsomeness, there is one man who truly embodies everything hmg stands for. If we haven’t written about him before, it’s only because the task is so daunting that we wanted to truly capture everything this man represents.  Of course, we are talking about Fabio.

Of course, we could talk about the fact that he is the most famous romance cover model of all time.  Or the fact that he writes romance novels (albeit with the help of a ghost writer – it is very handsome to recognize your own shortcomings and get help when you need it).  That when he was a model in Milan, the clothes didn’t fit him because he was just too big (having a chest that is too large to fit model clothes is a very HMG trait).  Or the fact that his face alone killed a bird (is he the new Medusa?). He also has a great sense of humor and joie de vivre that makes him not only handsome on the outside, but handsome on the INSIDE.  Two members of HMG have had the privilege of meeting the man (pictured below – although his head looks unusually large, this picture is not photoshopped – what can I say?  the man is larger than life! ) and he was so polite and gracious and charming.  In addition to that, he had the silkiest hair and a chest that was like a mountain.  But enough about that.

In order to fully capture what Fabio means, we asked some trusted people what they felt about Fabio.  Here’s what people had to say:

What makes Fabio handsome?

CM: Um, the fact that he is clearly a demigod.  Probably the son of Thor, because he’s the Norse god of thunder, and that reminds me of several handsome things such as the word ‘Thigh’, and of course the Thunder from Down Under male burlesque troupe.  Another possible father would be Poseidon, as Fabio looks excellant in swimwear, and is often photographed in body oil, which would make him suitable for aquatic living.

Poseidon is the father of horses…enough said.

AH: I think handsomeness tends to occur when someone aims a little higher than the rest and works to take their attributes to the next level.  There is nothing particularly “handsome” about having long hair.  But there is something wonderful about long hair that seems to be perpetually blown by a gentle wind.  Fabio’s chest is another nice example of this idea.  A lot of men have muscular chests.  But Fabio has a uniquely smooth, extremely broad, sculpted, hairless, and “sun-kissed” chest that is often prominently displayed.  Everything about Fabio shows us that he works hard at taking who he is to the next level.  And that is handsome.

AR: Fabio epitomizes handsome, because there is nothing about him that isn’t handsome.  I think his physical beauty (flowing mane, chiseled face, statuesque body – this list could go on for days) speaks for itself, but his handsomeness goes beyond that.  Fabio is handsome because he has used his handsomeness to selflessly give back to others. He has taught other men how to be handsome (see e.g. Mr. Romance, Fabio fitness video etc.), he has brought romance into the lives of all women (romance novels, Fabio After Dark, A Time for Romance), and he cares about animals (he created a cruelty-free valentine’s day for PETA).  Finally, Fabio is handsome because his handsomeness brings people together.  I cannot count the innumerable bonds I have formed with people based on Fabio.  Whereas some peoples handsomeness can be very polarizing (Team Edward v. Team Jacob anyone?), Fabio’s handsomeness is a light that draws us together, out of the dark, cold world that is so often devoid of handsomeness.

MR: I think what makes Fabio handsome is that he is truly himself.  With the pervasion of hipster culture, too many things nowadays are “ironic” (mustaches, haircuts, t-shirts) – people tend to define themselves with what they’re not rather than what they are.  There is nothing ironic about Fabio’s luscious hair, deep eyes, expansive chest, or the charm that exudes from his every pore.  This is not to say that he takes himself seriously.  Handsome men who take themselves or their image too seriously often fall into the douchey category (Jude Law, Colin Farrell).  Anyone who has seen Mr. Romance or listened to Fabio’s CD knows that this man has a wonderful sense of humor.  In a nutshell, there is really nothing more handsome than being yourself (especially if “yourself” is an “Italian Stallion” with perfect bone structure).

AM: While it’s likely true that *everything* about Fabio is special, a few things stand out. In no particular order:

* Sexy – strike that… *ENTICING* accent

* His wild mane, of course

* His statuesque physique

* His alluring pop culture status

* His smile

* His charm and unabashed romanticism

ST/ TT: Wen I firs saw Fabio I cudnt belive ‘ow ‘ansome he woz. He woz a vision. Them strong arm musles, an ‘is perfectly formed ‘amstrings. Need gud ‘amstrings t’fight yu no. ‘elps wiv speed an’ keepin th’enemy on ‘is toes. Ne’er saw anyone as strong a fighter as Fabio, ‘cept Kord o’course (prais’d be ‘is name).

What does Fabio mean to you?

CM: Fabio is the whole package–Great sense of humor, leading expert in romance, Italian, advocate for proper dental hygene, & has a vast motorcycle collection.  What more could you ask for?  The phrase “God’s gift to women” was originally in reference to Fabio.  I don’t know if that is actually true, but how could it not be true?

AH: To me, Fabio represents a feeling.  A feeling that can only be described by one word – “home”.  Except this home is very large, safe, secure, in a flattering, romantic style, and extravagantly decorated with smooth, reddish countertops, flaxen rugs, and windows on the ceiling that allow the sun to flood in and tan you with its rays (while still protecting you from any large birds flying above).

AR: I think this is best expressed in song.

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that’s based on beauty
And I want you here with me
From tonight until your six pack fades
You should know, everywhere I go
Your 42 inch chest is always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul, Fabio
You’re the handsome in my life
You’re the inspiration for HMG
You bring muscles to my life
You’re the mancandy
Wanna have you swing me
I wanna have you hear me sayin’
No one is more handsome than you
And I know, yes I know that it’s plain to see
the world is more handsome when you’re there
Now I know that the world needs you here
From tonight until the day you are cryogenically preserved
You should know, everywhere I go
Always on my mind, in my heart
In my soul
You’re the handsome in my life
You’re the inspiration for HMG
You bring muscles to my life
You’re the mancandy
Wanna have you swing me
I wanna have you hear me sayin’
No one is more handsome than you

IMR: Fabio is my personal Jesus, or Yoda or Dalai Lama if you will.  I often ask myself “What would Fabio do?”  He strives to look his best each day, a lesson which I try to follow.  He is charming and full of grace and polite to everyone around him.  When I am in a particular fit of road rage or annoyed at a telemarketer, I ask myself “WWFD?” and it’s like an inner glow of peace spread across me.

AM: To me, Fabio is an icon, a paragon, a sort of proto- (or super-)man, a unique and complete embodiment of a woman’s every desire. Those desires being the asterisks above.


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